APRIL 10, 2011

IN MY  BOOK, JUDE'S BENCH, I GIVE MYSELF THE GIFT OF BEING ABLE TO TALK WITH MY HUSBAND, MIKE, AFTER HE PASSED AWAY. THERE IS SO MUCH WE WIDOWS NEED TO TELL OUR LOVED ONES AFTER THEY ARE GONE. ESPECIALLY IF THEIR DEATHS ARE UNEXPECTED AND EVEN IF IT'S NOT. DURING THE GRIEVING PERIOD AFTER THE SHOCK OF FINDING PART OF OURSELVES MISSING, WE ARE NOT REALLY ABLE TO THINK CLEARLY. WE ARE SAD, WE ARE ANGRY, WE FEEL LOST, WE FEEL LONELY. IN ONE SCENE IN JUDE'S BENCH, THE WIDOWED WIFE, CHRIS TELLS HER HUSBAND HOW ANGRY SHE IS WITH HIM FOR LEAVING HER ALONE. ALTHOUGH IT MAY SEEM IRRATIONAL TO BE ANGRY WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS NO CHOICE ABOUT DYING, MANY OF US ARE. AND IT'S A PERFECTLY NORMAL FEELING THAT WILL BE REPLACED BY OTHER EMOTIONS, SOME RATIONAL, SOME NOT. I TALK A LOT ABOUT THE FIRST YEAR IN JUDE'S BENCH. AS IF BY SOME MAGIC FORMULA, YOU THINK YOU'LL GET OVER YOUR LOSS IN ONE YEAR. I WISH. BUT THAT'S A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER BLOG.